Alone at fifty By Michele Tjaden, an Experience 50 Podcast listener Why is it so many people think that because I live alone, I must be lonely? I went through a divorce at the age of 52, and have lived alone for 7 years. What comes as a surprise to…
"Making Midlife Awesome"
Making Friends Over 50
How to make friends after 50 By Mary Rogers You need to make friends. Somehow, it just happens. We look around and realize that our social circle has shrunk like comfy jeans in the dryer. Maybe our posse never was as big as we wanted but now, yes now, we…
Mary’s Podcast Playlist
Experience 50 listeners regularly ask me which podcasts I listen to when I’m not recording my own. Okay. Sharing my podcast playlist feels a bit like telling you to look in my purse. I can’t explain how everything got in there and I may feel some shame. Loser lottery tickets,…
Happy 50?
Happy knows happy at 50. Just because your hair is thinning, your son is flunking out of college and you can’t seem to muster the courage to take your mother’s car keys away, you could still be happy. Yes, really. It does seem that with age the sweet get sweeter…
Modern Elders
This column appeared in the January 12, 2019 edition of Northern Express. Each of us has a role to play in keeping young professionals in our region. In my case, it’s a matter of returning a favor granted to me when I was a young professional. There is a new…
Midlife Talking Heads
Best Experience 50 Lyrics EVER Talking Heads’ Once in a Lifetime puzzled us 35 years ago, but now it makes perfect sense. I just had to get old enough to understand! And you may find yourself Living in a shotgun shackAnd you may find yourself In another part of the worldAnd you…
What are you doing?
Are we growing or aging in our 50s? Am I growing? Certainly. When we were younger, we focused on the next achievement, and the next, and the next. That doesn’t seem as important to me now at 55. Or maybe the types of achievements have changed from the more obvious…
A Family Reunion Gone Very Badly
Originally published in Northern Express BY MARY KEYES ROGERS | NOV. 17, 2018 When it came to my attention that my deadline for this column would coincide with the midterm elections, I figured my rage or joy would fuel my words. Hardly. Election day came, and then it went. Meh. Some wins,…
Support Mary’s Addiction
So, I have this little addiction to podcasting. You may drink too much, shop too much, or gamble too much. I podcast. It could be worse, I know. If I could choose my addiction, it would be shopping because the day after a shopping binge I could take everything back…
Bystander Failure
From across a four-lane thoroughfare, I witnessed something. It was Labor Day weekend and I now find myself feeling ashamed by how I responded; or rather, how I failed to fully respond. Maybe. I think that when you and I hear stories of bystanders failing to help a stranger in…
A SHEW OF ILLUMINATION | Why 4th of July Fireworks matter to me
A SHEW OF ILLUMINATION originally published in Northern Express BY MARY KEYES ROGERS | MAY 19, 2018 For anyone with an overactive love for snow, they can still find a dirty pile of winter stubbornly refusing to melt. But there is reason to believe that this seemingly never-ending season is in fact…
Another opinion on gun control
Something surprising happened when I took on the challenge to write my opinion column on gun control. Originally published in Northern Express Something surprising Mary Keyes Rogers Full disclosure: I have never touched a gun. I am terrified of guns. My only interaction with guns has been my emotional response…
Jails and Prisons: The New Asylums
Welcome to Experience 50. When did Americans decide that incarceration was acceptable housing for the seriously mentally ill? Have you noticed that in midlife you’ve become less tolerant of things that fundamentally make no sense? I, for one, am so frustrated by government and institutional policies that ignore the experiences…
Somebody is your worst enemy
Want more time and less stress in your day? Great, here is one magical piece of advice: Make faster and more honest decisions. Consider how much time you spend in the quicksand of indecision overthinking simple decisions when you KNOW exactly what you want to do, but choose to overthink it….
Hot Flashes, Carpools & Dirty Martinis by Juju Hook
I want you to meet my new best friend! Okay, I love this book AND I love Juju. I first met Juju Hook over the summer and we fell into a very long phone conversation talking about the “brand” of the middle-aged woman. Pretty bleak, no? Juju and I are both midlife…
Standing Up To Sexual Harassment
Originally published in Northern Express BY MARY KEYES ROGERS | OCT. 14, 2017 Sexual harassment in the workplace gets our attention when it’s national news. But it happens everywhere. Even Up North. How well does our community stand up to harassment and criminal sexual conduct in the workplace? For any woman who…
Slaying Self-Doubt
Terrified and Naked to “OMG, Yes!” If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you may think that I have tackled the self-doubt monster. Yes, I have tackled it, but I can still be found rolling around in the dust with the beast, pulling its hair, getting knocked…
Suckers, Fools, Chumps, and Pawns
This column originally appeared in Northern Express on August 19, 2017. There are days like this when I feel like the grouchy old man on his front porch in boxer shorts, fist in the air, veins bulging at the temples, screaming at the neighborhood kids, “This country is going to…
Natural talent?
Do you ever wonder if perhaps you were born with a natural talent which you have yet to discover? That if only you had been handed a tennis racket, violin, microphone, paintbrush, unicycle, basketball, or tap shoes as a 4-year-old, your life would be very different now. I remember as a…
Happy Monday!
Happy Monday? Yes, you are here. It is Monday. The choice is yours; embrace all that this first day of your week may bring or keep your head down until Friday comes to an end. Beauty and love and friendship and joy all happen on Mondays, every week around the world….
Dear CNN, I’m leaving you.
Dear CNN, I think we both know it’s over. After 37 years together, I’m leaving you. This shouldn’t come as a complete surprise. You must have noticed that I’ve been avoiding you and, on those rare times when we are together, you must have detected the look of disgust and…
Cher at 71!
Cher Snares 2017 Billboard Icon Award I remember watching the Sonny and Cher TV show on CBS in 1971. I was 8 years old and in absolute awe of Cher. I would sit cross-legged in front of the television admiring the way she would toss her long silky black hair over…
Oh, Mother!
Give yourself the best Mother’s Day gift of all! Honestly, you can have a good relationship with your mother, really, I’m not pulling your leg. No matter how awful she is. If she’s living or not, nobody can push your buttons like good ol’ Mom. Funny thing is, we may repeat…
Lessons from a dying man
One of the few “gifts” that comes from dying as the result of a terminal illness, rather than a sudden and unexpected death, is the perspective of clarity that it brings to your everyday choices. Knowing that your time on this earth is limited, I imagine that everyone would be far…
Politics and Friendships
Opinion: A Small Victory For Civil Discourse, Mary Keyes Rogers Politics and friends. I talk a lot about self-awareness in midlife. At least my efforts to become more aware of my foibles. In my opinion column this week for the Northern Express, a local weekly news magazine, I share a…
The Art of Bonsai and The Runaway Bride
“I was at first very tempted to just shut down and Bonsai myself- keeping myself emotionally protected from love.” Karen Salmansohn, best selling author of Prince Harming Syndrome On occasion, does a choice of words just strike you? In reading Karen Salmansohn’s book, Prince Harming Syndrome, about choosing better men, the above quote hit…
We Created Millennials
Yes, our generation created millennials. For good, for bad. Entitled, narcissistic, lazy? Simon Sinek is interviewed on how corporations manage this group that was raised with “failed parenting strategies”. A friend brought this video to my attention and it is absolutely worth your time to watch it.
2017: Year Of The Woman
As appeared in the 12/17/2016 issues of Northern Express 2017: THE YEAR OF THE WOMAN BY MARY KEYES ROGERS | DEC. 17, 2016 Year of the woman? Yes, I know that our nation’s first female presidential candidate lost to the misogynist. I know how dark things look right now for…
Experience 50, a listener-supported podcast
November 30, 2016 Dear listeners, readers, followers: I have always been an open book type of person. So, here goes: As The Experience 50 Podcast has grown from about 30 friends and family listening to over 30,000 across the globe, I have learned a great many things. I need to confess something…
Making Midlife Easier: Five Powerful Phrases To Lean On
Making Midlife Easier: Five Powerful Phrases To Lean On Midlife can be tough. So, let’s make it easier. I consistently hear from my Experience 50 Podcast listeners that they never expected this stage of life to be so exciting or so challenging. Some don’t even recognize their feelings, can’t even…
What Do You Crave? Ask these Qs to discover what your midlife soul needs…
Midlife cravings Midlife cravings? No, I’m not talking chocolate mousse or a cheeseburger. But, the sentiment is the same. Once the mind, like taste buds, really wants… truly needs… something that is not readily available we can’t think of anything else. That is a craving. Somewhere I learned that if you…
Get 2 Free Audiobooks with Experience 50
That’s right! As an Experience 50 listener, you get a bonus audiobook when you start a free trial membership with Audible. Membership Plan Description: You will need to provide a credit card for this offer, but may cancel at ANY time. AudibleListener® Gold 30-Day Trial Membership – Monthly: Special Promotion:…
Praise For The Experience 50 Podcast
I want to take up a little bit of internet space to thank my listeners/readers for their support of my Experience 50 projects. “Thank You!” This really is a passion project for me and it all makes sense when I get feedback like the email below. …and here are some current…
Mary Rogers’ on WESU’s Women Over 40
It was great fun to be a guest, along with Eileen Williams of Work Over 50, on WESU’s Women Over Forty, hosted by Cyma Shapiro. We shared our opinions and insights on why there is so much buzz about reinventing ourselves after 50, the challenges of the work world and…
For the Sake of Happiness- Lean In to Relationships
Admittedly, I am a Ted Talk junkie. If I could recommend only one Ted Talk to midlifers seeking happiness throughout their lives, this would be it. Enjoy, listen, learn, and lean in.
Stop thinking. Start pondering.
Pondering. I love that word. Though, I think I may be one of only a few people who use it anymore. I don’t just use it, I do it. I ponder. I highly recommend it to all, not just to poets and the idle rich. Instead of letting your mind…
Don’t Become a Workplace Dinosaur
Are you as skillful with technology and as knowledgeable about business trends as the new kid that just got hired right out of his MBA program? Probably not. Yes my friend, your years or even decades of experience give you an advantage but that advantage can be significantly devalued when…
4 Steps To Save Your Marriage
In midlife, the month of June is a significant period in making decisions about marriage and divorce. Why? Because it is the month of high school graduations. Many husbands and wives have waited until their youngest child graduates from high school to file for divorce. What one spouse finds to…
Can I still post on Facebook after I die?
No, my dear, you cannot. But maybe they have some other social media apps in heaven, I don’t know, Cloud 9? But, what you can and should do is name somebody to manage your account once you have, uh, left this world. Facebook allows you to name a Legacy Contact,…
Good Morning Australia!
Later today I’m appearing as a guest on Todd Sargeant’s morning radio show in Australia. Yes, Australia. Apparently Australian midlifers are just as happy, restless and/or miserable as they are here in the U.S., where I live. The same can be said for Japan, Hungary, Canada and the other 50…
Midlife Trivia -TV Memories
While we continue to fine tune our trivia, test your TV Memories!
TRIVIA 50- The Best of 1975
My “Dear Mom” Letter
Note: This was meant to be an Experience 50 Podcast episode. But now, it is a blog post, why? Because although I know it is a “valuable share” of how much the exercise of writing a never to be sent letter to your mother is, it was just too tough…
LIVES AT RISK: THE WHITE MIDLIFE AMERICAN
The following was originally published in Northern Express on February 7, 2016 No doubt you’ve heard that Americans are living longer, healthier lives. Between 1970 and 2013, a combination of behavioral change, prevention, and treatment brought down mortality rates for those aged 45–54 by 44 percent. This is good news,…
Not Easy Being A Voter in 2016
The following was originally published in Northern Express on April 2, 2016 As of March 22, 2016, a total of 1,647 candidates had filed a Statement of Presidential Candidacy with the Federal Election Commission. I’d like to meet them. Think back to past election seasons, as a nation we would…
Midlife Pivot vs. Midlife Crisis
What is the difference between a midlife pivot vs a midlife crisis? Are you headed for a midlife crisis? Imagine you are driving home after a long day at work and the gerbil wheel in your mind is spinning at full speed: Is that chicken in the back of the fridge…
Book Review: Garbage Bag Suitcase, A Memoir by Shenandoah Chefalo
March 13, 2016… Full disclosure: I know the author, Shenandoah Chefalo. We live in the same city in Northern Michigan, I know her husband, we have many mutual friends, and I like her. I like her a lot, even though when we first really talked to each other she warned…
Is it time to build?
Happy 50th, Colonoscopy time! Or maybe not?
I am not a doctor, nor is this medical advice. If a colonoscopy were on my bucket list, I’ve checked the box four times. Lucky me. Perhaps the most unpleasant gift at 50 is your doctor’s news that it is time to begin regular screenings for colon cancer. Doesn’t that sound…
A Little Longer and a Wee Bit Stronger
He’s a hugger. She’s a hugger. He’s not a hugger. I’m a hugger. Some of us are huggers, some are not. Personal space issues, germaphobes or simply shy creatures may hold some back from wrapping themselves around another. Among those who do hug, we have: the hearty huggers, the one-armed chin huggers, the…
I Love Party Games
I admit I’d rather have a group of close friends over to my house for drinks, dinner and a party game than go out. My friends are a competitive bunch and we have played lots and lots of games. Our longtime favorite is the electronic Catch Phrase.
Midlife Nursery Rhymes
Looking Back: 1986
January 22, 2016 Time to put your time warp thinking cap on. We are headed thirty years back in time to 1986. I’m sharing some 1986 news and data to ease your brain back to the days of big hair and Pet Shop Boys. Yes there is a test at…
1970s Trivia Quiz
I love trivia and I love 1970s nostalgia. I also admit to being a wee bit competitive. So imagine my delight at finding Quiz Freak’s 1970s trivia quiz on National Trivia Day (January 4). I took the 14 question quiz, ranking Trivia Guru, with 12 out of 14 questions answered correctly….
Theodore Roosevelt, American President
Diane Keaton, An invisible middle aged woman?
Procrastinator’s Best Buddy
I really do love my sponsors*, especially when their product gets us out of an embarrassing situation. Here is a shameless plug for my favorite last minute Christmas, Mother’s Day, best friend’s birthday gift: Monthly Clubs, a family owned business that loves indulgence! This isn’t your father’s fruit of the…
A Nice Holiday Twist at Midlife
Unless you waited until age 45 to have kids, (in which, case may I say, “what were you thinking???”), I am guessing that the holiday season has become a bit less hectic and crazed than in years past. No school concerts, no must have (but impossible to find) gifts from the toy…
Male Isolation in Middle Age
When I recorded Episode 28, Friends Are The Family We Choose, I spoke from the assumption that everybody has a bunch of friends. Like most women, I have multiple circles of friends including an inner circle and then dozens of close friends, an army of sometime friends, and then a…
YES, I like to knit.
I love this shirt. I get so tired of hearing “such and such” makes you appear so old. Like knitting. Screw you, I like to knit. I do a lot of things that younger people just shake their heads at. I really don’t care. It cracks my teenage daughter up that…
Book Review: Late, Late At Night by Rick Springfield
I’ve now spent over 12 hours listening to Rick Springfield read his memoir, Late, Late at Night. I am an audio loving multitasker, and I love audio books, especially when read by the author. Even more so when I am going to be on the road a lot, which I…
The losses and a gift at midlife
Maybe this is just what it’s like being over 50? It seems that not a week goes by without sad news of a death or seriously grave health issue in my extended circle of family and friends. I shared this with a friend, listing all of stories of sadness that…
How To Become A Consultant
The fasted way to move from employee to self-employed is by way of becoming a consultant. No doubt about it. The real bonus to this is that you can dip your toe in the pool, then up to the knees and so on before diving right in. If you are…
The $300 Midlife Shopping Experiment
Join the Experiment! What we hope to find under the Christmas tree at our age is a whole lot different than when we were 25 or 30. Some of us become far more practical (a fancy foreign vacuum cleaner would be fine) whereas some may consider that reasonable grounds for divorce….
Midlife Sleep, Be Mine Tonight
Yes, that is me. Sound asleep during a very rowdy Michigan State vs U of M football game house party. Why? Because I didn’t get any sleep the night before. This is definitely an age thing. My husband and I both struggle to get a solid night of sleep. Hot…
Oprah, you can’t have it.
The annual Oprah’s Favorite Things list was released this week in conjunction with Amazon.com. Once upon a time, Oprah Winfrey wanted something of mine. She loved it and wanted it to be one of Her Favorite Things. She asked me to give it to her. Was she kidding? I have…
Dying Breed: American White Midlifers
Last week, a shocking study was released by the National Academy of Sciences documenting the increase of mortality rates, specifically of American white non-Hispanic men and women between the ages of 45-54. As a group, we have lost the equivalent of all AIDS related deaths, to suicide, drug poisoning and…
We’re Hot
Can you remember that moment?
Any random moment in high school when you thought you were just the coolest thing in the world and that the world was pretty cool too? Today, as I was chauffeuring 4 teenagers about town, Heart’s Barracuda screamed from the radio for a total of 3 seconds before my daughter…
Mary’s Friday Five October 2, 2015
A round-up of tips, tricks and observations in midlife… #1 Agism? Yes, I was caught by surprise. Do you feel threatened by agism? I don’t, but I work for myself. I’ve heard from many listeners who feel victimized by agism, particularly in the workplace. They are being replaced by younger,…
Mary’s Friday Five September 25, 2015
Mary’s Friday Five September 25, 2015 A round-up of tips, tricks and observations in midlife… #1 A Sign of our Age It seems a week doesn’t go by without hearing of a friend’s family member passing away. In Episode 4 Suddenly Everything Changes, Liz spoke of how much it meant…
Mary’s Friday Five September 18, 2015
Mary’s Friday Five September 18, 2015 Mary’s roundup of the week’s episodes, recommendations and random thoughts… Mary’s roundup of the week’s episodes, recommendations and random thoughts…Not So Deep Thoughts I’m pondering the analogy between the midlife chapter and autumn. Trees losing their leaves, us losing our hair and other…
Welcome to Experience50.com
I spent the latter part of my 40s ranting at myself. Now in my 50s, I am so relieved that I can enjoy my time. I’m done ranting, now I am actually DOING things that make every day better than yesterday. You can too. That’s my bottom line. I’m doing…