Want more time and less stress in your day?
Great, here is one magical piece of advice: Make faster and more honest decisions. Consider how much time you spend in the quicksand of indecision overthinking simple decisions when you KNOW exactly what you want to do, but choose to overthink it.
When you want to say “No”
This could be attending any sort of event, hosting somebody in your home, volunteering your time to a cause you don’t really care about, taking care of Somebody else’s responsibility, giving or loaning things or money, etc… You know the answer, but then you spend hours, days, or months considering Somebody:
- Somebody’s feelings might be hurt
- Somebody might consider you selfish
- Somebody might feel disappointment in you
- Somebody’s expectations will be unmet
When you want to say “Yes”
Lucky you! Invited to go kayaking, join a book club, a trip to Italy, a cruise over the holidays, going back to school, moving to a different city, accept a job in a faraway place. Again, you put in the time to consider Somebody.
- Somebody might think you are foolish
- Somebody might be inconvenienced
- Somebody might think you are spending money inappropriately
- Somebody might feel you are only thinking of yourself
So, you beat yourself into submission to maintain the status quo, and today looks just like yesterday, and this year looks like last year, and you are miserable. Funny thing is, Somebody has no idea how much emotional anguish you have invested in this and yet, they won.
This Somebody could be your spouse, parents, neighbor, co-worker, a volunteer organizer, a fundraiser, your brother or even your cocker spaniel. Somebody might even be a nameless, faceless person. A woman admitted to me that she was still being ruled by her mother who has been dead for ten years!
How many times have you said to yourself: “I really don’t want to do this!”, but you did it anyway, to keep Somebody happy?
Two tricks to deal with Somebody
Are you with me here? Good. Now I want to give you the two the tricks to getting out of the quicksand.
First: Act fast, really fast, I’m talking 1… 2…3… No. Or Yes. But do it right then, right there. Don’t give yourself time to overthink this while you slide deeper into the pit of indecision.
Second: You do not owe Somebody a reason for your decision.
Remember, speed is your friend and self-doubt is your enemy!