Midlife cravings? No, I’m not talking chocolate mousse or a cheeseburger. But, the sentiment is the same. Once the mind, like taste buds, really wants… truly needs… something that is not readily available we can’t think of anything else. That is a craving.
Somewhere I learned that if you have a particular craving for say, a banana, it is your body’s way of getting the nutrient it needs at that moment. You have become potassium deficient. Potassium? Have you ever found yourself pining for potassium. Of course not. So your brain puts two and two together and creates the craving for a potassium-rich banana when it really needs potassium. Still with me?
Beyond food cravings, you may crave things. Like a new car or a better smartphone. But things don’t seem to demand the emotional desperation of a craving.
Your brain craves experiences
Remember when you had babies and all you craved was an 8 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep? You needed to recharge.
What do you crave? Not simply want, but crave. The type of yearning desire for silence that a screaming baby brings to that exhausted new parent? Furthermore, what inner need does that craving represent?
It’s not the banana
So if you find yourself yearning for a journey, an adventure, a new lover, a different job, or for something in your life to go away, stop, land in somebody else’s lap this time, what is the deficiency that your body and soul needs? My point is this: It may not be the banana. It’s the potassium.
Jenny N., 49, wrote to me that all she wants, what she craves, is TIME. Between the demands of her job, three teenagers, a husband who travels for work and a mother-in-law who always needs something at the worst possible moments, she doesn’t have enough time for anything. She can’t live her life the way she wants to because she doesn’t have time. She fantasises about a day, just one day, with nothing on her to-do list. She has started to obsess, to crave time.
Here is my take. She doesn’t need time. Unscheduled Netflix binging time is meaningless by itself. She needs control of her time. She needs others to respect her time. Hell, SHE needs to respect her time and do whatever has to be done to take control of her time.
My challenge to you
- What do I crave? What experience do I really want to upgrade from fantasy to reality? When you have it in your mind, dig down. Why this? What is it I really need that makes me crave that?
- How can I get what I need instead of just what I crave? What is the current obstacle? Is it me?
You will need to answer all of those questions for yourself, except for the final one… Am I the obstacle to getting what I need?”
Yes, you are. Every stinkin’ time. MR